This is Radio Free World. Brought to you as usual by Scotty.
Rumour will have it that prisoner number 359640B3 or our own dear Lord Tedric is still dressing as a nun. We here at Radio Free World think the drugs were just a cover.
In a recent discussion with people of the know, Cliff Hanger will shortly be living, or rather dying, up to his nick-name, Graveyard Cliff!.
This is Ships Engineer, signing off.
This is Radio Free World. Brought to you by Scotty.
In a recent development, a strange Electro-Magnetic pulse was detected. Sources say
it was detected from a small Island. Perhaps it is a portion of the ships propulsion
system, or perhaps Selen Skyler has found some beans? This is Ships Engineer, signing
off.
It is reported that in the town of Jarvis Bay Mr. and Mrs. Borden were brutally dismembered with an
axe. With all these criminals from other planets running around, I'm afraid we can expect more
of this kind of cultural axe change. Not stopping at murder, the villains also abducted the
Bordens' teenaged daughter, Lizzie, who has not been seen since.
Sabotage by the foreign criminals is suspected in the recent disaster on the shores of Ko Bay.
Using powerful weapons, they were able to shake many buildings to pieces, and break the windows
in all the rest. Residents decribed the experience as "shattering". In the harbor, 28 sampans
sank, and the remaining boats were described as "junks". Residents fled in terror up the
slopes of nearby Foojeeyama, fearing the approach of a tsunami, which never materialized.
Lamented one victim, "Our harbor is such a mess, a tsunami would have been an improvement!"
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! This ere, the day of our lord the 30th of March 1066, the world shook with fear! Into the one of the Wastelands we have a report of Ships crew running Amok!
Twas a fearful battle where 14000 men women and children were thrown to a mere 5000 Wolves. Shame on you! Hear ye not of fair fight?! and ye are an officer and a gentleman?1 BOOOO!
Into a Forestland we have two reports of Hordes charging! Barbaric men at arms with swords in their teeth! Facing the strongest foes yet, with some interest, they win through and the world grows a gloomier place. Bravo! Bravo for accepting such a nobel challenge!
A Mountainous country too was overrun by ships crew! Again we have vast outnumbering. My my, these ship people are indeed a pain to watch! But wait! they are not finished yet! One stumbles! In a brave attempt to annex two whole countries.. in a feat of greed not seen since hitler, we have an officer of the core going down against two mass murderers.. what will happen now?
Oy-yea! Oy Yea!
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
Captain Morganson has appointed himself Chief Pizza Officer, and has laid down
conditions for the surrender of any surviving convicts. First, each one of them must build him
a Shrubbery. Then they must equip and train a marching band. Finally, when Morganson comes to
inspect the Shrubbery, they must celebrate a feast in his honor. The feast is to include a
parade, with the marching band playing Australian songs for one hour, and 1000 large anchovy
pizzas for Morganson and his closest friends to dine upon. If these conditions are complied
with, the Chief Pizza Officer promises to pardon the convict and grant him a seat at his Pizza
Table. Thus, everyone will live happily ever after.